Anything But Mine
by PursuingMary
Summary: Dean's first time. A little sad, a little sweet. All good.


* * *

Anything But Mine

Disclaimer- I own nothing. I mean really. I'm poor. Please leave me be.

A/N Sophie and Ace are the invention of my cousin and I. They were invented for a fun interlude in our other creation In Twilight. After that was written they came alive and became people of their own. Be kind to them. We love them very much. This story is about Dean's first time. It's sweet and sad and a lot of stuff happens after it. Some of which will be posted in the near future. Thank you for reading.

* * *

"That's not your daddy's truck?" Emma Blackburn shouted out the kitchen window.

Ace frowned as she took the last of the wash off the line and laid it in the laundry basket. "No, it's not Uncle Jack's either, Mama," she yelled back.

There was a soft clicking sound from the kitchen and she knew her mother had retrieved from the shotgun from the cupboard above the sink. They lived a long way from town and with both Daddy and Uncle Jack away the Blackburn women took no chances. "You yell if there's trouble."

The truck's engine growled as it topped the hill and Ace ran to the front gate to get a look at the driver. "It's DJ Winchester," she shouted.

"Alright then. His daddy and brother with him?"

"No, he's alone."

The beat-up Chevy stopped just short of the gate and the driver stepped out.

"Hey DJ," she called, waving.

"Ace," he grinned and tossed his sunglasses back through the truck's open window. "It's Dean, now."

"There trouble?" Mama called from the porch.

Dean gave her a smile, "Not too much, Mrs. Blackburn. My dad thought your husband might have a book he needs."

The older woman relaxed a little, "You can have a look through his library if you want, but he won't be back until tomorrow afternoon."

Ace opened the gate and let him through into the yard. "What about Jack? He here?" Dean persisted.

"No, he's gone, too. You hungry?"

"Always, ma'am."

She chuckled and waved him into the house. Ace trailed behind, stopping only to grab the basket of laundry from the grass.

"Where's your daddy?" Emma asked as she took a plate from the drying rack and laid it on the table.

"Iowa. He didn't want to break camp and lose the trail, but he really needs this book." Dean took a seat at the table.

"Well, like I said, the men won't be back until tomorrow. You can have a look around if you like, but I can't let you take anything without his consent. You understand."

"Yes, ma'am."

"Where's Sam?" Ace asked as she sat across from him.

"Pouting. He wanted to come with me, but Dad can't hold camp alone. I'm the only one who can drive a stick."He flashed her a smile and a strangely appraising look. "Where's Sophie Sue?"

"With Aunt Dolly visiting my grandma. It's just Mama and I today."

"There you go, DJ, honey," Emma said as she spooned mashed potatoes onto his plate.

"Thank you. It smells good."

"I'll put on a roast for dinner. You eat that up and then you can help Ace weed the garden."

"You can't put him to work; he's company," the younger woman protested.

"S'okay, I don't mind," Dean answered around a mouth of mashed potatoes.

"You'd think you hadn't eaten in weeks," Emma shook her head and left to get something out of the pantry.

"You got taller," Ace observed with a smirk.

"So did you." He gave her a wink and a smile.

"You staying here for the night, then?"

"If your mama says it's alright."

"She will."

"I will, what?"

"Say he can stay here tonight."

"He can stay where he likes."

Dean spooned the last of the potatoes into his mouth and pushed his chair back. "That was great, now show me to that garden."

Outside, away from Mrs. Blackburn's watchful gaze, Dean visibly relaxed.

"How have you been?" he asked amiably.

"Well, enough," Ace shrugged and sat in the grass at the edge of the garden.

"Must be dull around here without Sophie."

"Yeah."

He chuckled, "Must be dull even with Sophie. Not much to do out here."

Ace gave him a sly smile and pulled her knees to her chest. "We make do."

"I can see that," he nodded and knelt in the dirt at the base of the tomato plants.

"You don't actually have to do any work, she won't notice. To busy frettin' about Daddy."

"He been gone long?" Worry crossed his features briefly.

"A few days. He's on schedule; she just worries."

He nodded, "Yeah."

They sat in a companionable silence for a while.

"You cut your hair," she commented suddenly.

Dean shrugged, "Dad made me. It kept getting caught when I'd shoot."

"I like it."

"You look different, too"

"Contacts." She pointed to her face.

He looked away, "Must be it."

"What are you doing tonight?" she asked, surprised at her own boldness.

"Hadn't really thought about it."

"Wanna go for a ride?"

"A ride?"

"You know, in the car? The evenings are just about perfect this time of year. We can drive around and talk."

"We're talking now." He licked his lips nervously.

"I mean where Mama can't hear."

"What don't you want her to hear?" His gaze made her shiver a little.

"You know what I mean, DJ Winchester."

"It's Dean. My name is Dean."

She shrugged, "Alright, Dean."

He smiled, "Yeah, okay. We'll go for a drive."

"Have to wait until Mama goes to sleep."

"Okay."

* * *

She smiled at the mirror and smeared a touch of lip gloss across her mouth. With quick movements, she dragged the brush through her tangled hair until it shone in the lamp light. It wasn't until she had checked to make sure that her tank top covered her bra straps that Ace really thought about what she was doing.

"It's only a car ride," she told herself. "A car ride with a boy; with Dean."

Something tightened in the pit of her stomach.

Very quietly, she opened her bedroom door and looked down the hall. Mama's TV was loud, but not quite loud enough to cover the sound of her snoring. With a deep breath, Ace stepped out and picked her way carefully down the hall. Feeling with her bare feet, she managed to miss all the loose boards.

"You asleep?" she whispered to the dark form laying on the couch.

The last rays of the sun caught his eyes as he sat up, "No."

"Ready to go?"

"Your mama asleep?"

"Yeah, she always falls asleep watching TV when Daddy's gone."

"Come on then." He stood up and led the way out the back door.

She followed him to the truck and climbed up into the cab.

"You don't have shoes on," he said pointing.

She laughed and propped her feet up on the dash, "Can't sneak out wearing shoes. She'll hear for sure."

"You do this a lot?"

"Sophie likes to pretend she's running away some times. I can't let her go by herself."

Dean chuckled and started the truck. It growled to life and before either of them could change their minds they were on the road.

"You sure your mama won't be mad to find you gone?"

"She won't wake up."

"She might hear the truck, and that woman has good aim… better than most. I don't wanna make her mad."

Ace laughed, "I can handle mama. You just drive."

"Where to?"

"I know a place." She was surprised to find that she really did have a destination in mind.

"Alright."

With a sigh, he turned the radio on, only to make a face when all he could find was static.

"Here," she said, carefully tuning the radio in to a certain station.

_I heard it through the grape vine … Not much longer will you be mine._

"What is this?" he asked glaring at the radio.

"We don't get regular radio, but this old man made his own radio tower. He plays what he likes, but he's got decent taste." She grinned at him and rolled down the window.

_They say a man ain't supposed to cry, but these tears I can't hold inside._

The wind caught her hair and she took a deep breath of the early summer air. The sun'ss warmth lingered on the air leaving her lightheaded and a little giddy.

"Turn here."

"Okay."

"Stop at the Pit I need to get some stuff."

"What stuff?"

"Just stuff, okay?"

"Okay," he answered shaking his head and trying to hide a smile.

A few minutes later they pulled-over in front of what looked like a small metal mobile home. Large letters on the side of the building proclaimed that they sold beer, food, wine and ammo. Dean snickered as she climbed out of the truck.

Inside, the store was decently clean if somewhat cluttered. She picked her way around various displays to a glass door in the back, took out a six pack of Amber Bock and hefted it to the counter. The man at the register gave her a toothless grin. "Who's that for, Ace?"

She blushed a little, "Come on, Bobby Jack, just sell me the beer."

"Pushy tonight, aintcha."

He reached out his hand and she handed him a wad of crumpled bills from her pocket.

"Thanks," she waved and hurried back out to the truck.

"Beer?" he asked with a raised eyebrow. "You're only seventeen."

"And you're only nineteen, but my cousin runs the store."

"Your cousin?"

"Yeah, Bobby Jack is always willing to help us kids out from time to time. Long as we stay out of trouble."

"You're related to someone named Bobby Jack?"

She rolled her eyes, "Do I have to drive?"

"No, no." He pulled back onto the road just as 'My Girl' started playing on the radio.

"I like this song," Ace said, leaning back in her seat.

"_I guess you say what can make feel this way … my girl …_" Dean sang quietly, glancing at her from time to time.

"You know the words?" she asked with a smirk.

"_I got all riches baby, one man can claim …_" he nodded.

"You have a nice voice," she said quietly.

He blushed a little and focused on the road, "Yeah, I like that song, too."

"Turn up here."

He nodded, not meeting her gaze.

There was a pause in the music, followed by 'Sugar Pie Honey Bunch'. Ace turned and watched the endless rows of corn pass by. She had ridden with Dean several times in the past, but this felt different. Something had changed in the past few years, something indefinable.

"Here; turn left here and drive straight until you see a big tree to your right."

"There isn't a road."

"Just do it."

Obeying silently, he turned off the road, watching carefully for the tree she had mentioned. It came up faster than expected and he stopped the truck.

"Turn around, it'll be easier getting out."

Again, he did as he was told.

"Come on." She climbed out, toting the beer with her. Her entire body hummed with excitement as the last of the day's warmth touched her skin.

Without asking permission, she lowered the tailgate and pulled herself up. He joined her a second later.

"Where is this place?" he asked, grabbing a beer and twisting it open.

"Lake McConaughy," she gestured toward the large expanse of water stretching out in the distance.

The sky was still vaguely orange at the horizon, tinting the water pink. Cicada cried out from the foliage and crickets chirped in the grass at their feet.

"Do you ever wish that we were normal?" she asked, almost in a whisper.

"Normal?"

"You know, go to school, cheer at football games, do homework, go to prom… normal."

He stared at her for a moment, "You want to go to prom?"

"No, of course not. But if I was normal, I'd want to. I think I'd want to go and get a dress and wear make-up and get a pair of uncomfortable shoes … I might even want to dance."

"You wouldn't look bad in a dress," he said.

"Thanks." She handed him a beer and waited while he twisted it open.

"You really want to be normal?"

"Don't you sometimes? I mean, I love my life. And I like knowing what's out there, but sometimes I wonder if, perhaps, ignorance really is bliss."

He took a deep swig of his beer and thought for a time before saying, "Yeah, it might not be so bad."

"Other kids don't have chores that include cleaning blood off their daddy's knives or salting and burning bones in the graveyard."

"That's one of your chores?"

"Sometimes. If the situation calls for it."

He sighed and gave her a sad smile, "I love my dad and my brother, but sometimes I think I'd like to just pack up this truck and leave them behind. In a year or two I think I will. I'm old enough; I can do this on my own. Dad has Sammy, after all. He's sure to grow out of wanting to go college and stuff. They'll manage."

She nodded, hearing the lie in his voice. Gently, she touched his arm, giving him a reassuring smile that must have been lost in the growing darkness.

"I'm gonna turn the music back on," he announced sliding down.

The truck's lights came on filling the area with a warm glow. She blinked a little and smiled as the first few strains of 'Let It Be' started playing.

"There. You cold?" he asked, digging behind the driver's seat.

"No."

"You sure?" He pulled out a ratty blanket.

"Are you?"

"No."

She smiled, "Then what's the blanket for?"

He shimmied up beside her and laid the blanket out in the bed of the truck. "There, we can lay back now." He blushed as he said it.

"I'm fine like this."

"Yeah … I know … I just …" He shook his head and sat back down, legs dangling.

"I love this song."

"Yeah, it's good."

"You wanna dance?"

"What?"

"Come on. Lets be normal. Just for now. "

She hopped down and grabbed his hand. Reluctantly, he joined her on the ground.

"You put your hands here, on my waist and I put mine here on your shoulders."

He laughed nervously, "Okay."

"There. And now we just sort of rock back and forth."

At first, things were awkward. He kept laughing and running his hand through his hair.

"It's not _that_ bad," she said with a soft smile.

"No. No, it isn't."

"We can stop."

"No … I'm fine."

Very slowly, the sound of the water and the gentle melody of the music seemed to help him relax and he pulled her a little closer.

"You sure you're not cold?"

"Yes. I'm fine."

The song ended and all was silent except for their own breathing.

"That was nice," she offered hopefully.

"Yeah."

Reluctantly, they broke apart. She climbed back up to her perch on the tailgate, sipping at her beer.

"You have a boyfriend?" he asked in a strange voice, stepping in front of her. His eyes were dark with an emotion she did not recognize.

"Where would I get one of those?"

"Town," he shrugged and moved closer.

"I prefer my men to have all their teeth."

He smiled a little and lightly touched her knee with his hand.

"I've never had a girlfriend," he whispered.

"You're touching my knee." The words sounded incredibly stupid once she had said them.

_Oh my love my darling I've hungered for your touch …_

He pressed forward and she spread her knees slightly, brushing her fingers over his neck.

_I need your love …_

The first kiss was light, barely touching. Then, his lips were pressed against hers firmly, hands pulling her to the edge of the tailgate. She pulled away, meeting his hazel gaze for what felt like an eternity. A silent decision was made between them.

He kissed her mouth again, pulling her tight against him, legs wrapped behind his back. Her hands gripped his t shirt, urging him closer.

_Lonely rivers flow to the sea … to the sea … To the open arms of the sea._

_Lonely rivers sigh, 'Wait for me, wait for me'._

Suddenly, his shirt was over his head and on the ground and his hand searched frantically for the bottom of her tank top. She pulled him up, sliding back onto the blanket. He kissed her neck, her cheeks, her shoulders; each press of his lips caused bolts of electricity through her.

_I've hungered for your touch …_

He paused once to pull his wallet out of his jeans. She saw the shiny wrapper and nodded to show her assent.

* * *

Later, as they lay breathless and naked in each other's arms, Ace tried to come to terms with what had just taken place. Her whole body ached, but somehow it was right … good, even. She liked the dull pain and the scent of his sweat and his lips tickling her throat as he breathed. It was all so very simple and wonderful and yet, incredibly complicated.

"Are you … okay?" he whispered, a touch of anxiety in his voice.

"Yeah."

"It's just … I heard … sometimes it hurts …"

"I'm fine," she whispered, fingers petting the prickly hairs at the base of his neck. "Did it hurt you?"

"No." He choked on the word a little.

"Are you … okay?"

"Yeah … a little more than okay."

She paused, kissing his chin, "We should go."

"I know."

"Help me up?"

Together, they searched for their lost clothing, each helping the other dress. Dean folded up the blanket and shoved it back behind the drivers seat. They left the beer where it lay on the grass, forgotten. He took her hand and helped her into the cab of the truck.

After he climbed in, she scooted closer to the middle, leaning against his shoulder, her hand laying softly on his thigh. He smiled a little and kissed her mouth. The drive home was silent except when she reminded him where to turn.

He pulled up outside the gate and put the truck in park. The dash went dark as he took the key from the ignition, but neither of them moved.

"Was …" She stopped, reconsidering.

"What?"

"It's stupid."

"Tell me," he whispered twining their fingers together.

"Was it … I dunno …" She laughed nervously, "good?"

"Yeah. I think so."

"I just …"

He laughed, "Christ, Ace, I don't know."

Realization washed over her. "I just thought, I mean, boys are different. I just figured."

"I told you I never had a girlfriend before."

"Does this mean we have to get married?"

"Not unless your daddy finds out."

"I don't want to get out of the truck," she murmured, leaning her head against him.

"Ace…"

"My name is Amelia," she interrupted.

"What?"

"Your name is Dean. My name is Amelia."

"Amelia," he repeated slowly.

"Amelia Mary Flood."

"I thought it was Blackburn."

She smiled a little, "No, that's just a name we adopted. Have to have a few in reserve, just in case."

"I like Amelia."

"Just don't let anyone else hear you calling me that. It's a secret. Not even my folks call me Amelia. Not since I was four, anyway."

"Alright. I like Ace just as much."

Glancing at the farmhouse, she came to a decision. "Look, I'm not stupid. Hunters don't stay in one place long and as soon as we go in that house we have to go back to the way things were. But I want you to know … I …"

"While I'm here, it can be like this."

"I don't expect anything more than that."

He smiled and kissed her forehead. "I don't know if I can give anything more than that."

A moment passed and he kissed her mouth again, softly at first, then with a desperation that frightened her a little.

"We need to go in," she whispered, pulling away.

"Yeah."

They walked hand-in-hand to the door of the old farmhouse.

* * *

He smiled across the breakfast table and nudged her leg with his foot, almost unintentionally.

"You want any more bacon?" Emma asked, glancing back from the stove.

"No, ma'am, I think I'm about done."

The older woman nodded and placed a stack of dishes in the sink. "When you finish eating, Ace, would you go out back and fetch me a towel off the line. I'll do the dishes this morning."

"Sure, Mama."

Ace placed her dishes in the sink and headed out the back door. Dean followed as casually as he could, giving Emma a nervous look before shutting the door behind him. The second they turned the corner behind the house, they were kissing; quick, frantic kisses that sent a shiver down Ace's spine.

"We've only got a minute," she whispered, sliding her hand under the back of his shirt.

"Lets not waste it talking."

The sound of a truck approaching stopped them in their tracks.

"Daddy's home," Ace said, giving Dean a last kiss before grabbing a towel off the line and running it in to her mother.

"That's your daddy's truck," Emma confirmed as Dean opened the back door and stepped inside. "You can ask him about that book, DJ."

The front door burst open with a bang and a loud voice announced, "I'm home. Where's my baby girl?"

Ace grinned in spite of herself and hurried to the front room to hug her father.

"You alright, Ace? You seem a little flushed," he asked, eyeing her carefully.

"I'm fine, Daddy. Dean's here to see you."

"Dean Winchester, good to see you again."

As they shook hands, Dean shifted his weight nervously.

"Where's Uncle Jack?" Ace asked looking out he window to only see her father's truck.

"He'll be along later; had something to do in town. What was it you needed boy?"

Dean handed the older man a folded sheet of paper, "That book."

"Hmmm, I'll go and see if I can dig it up for you after I say hello to the wife. You and Ace can unload the truck."

"Yes, sir."

"Dunno why he sent us out here," Ace muttered, yanking a duffle bag out of the bed of the truck.

"So he can be alone with your mama for a minute," Dean said with a grin.

They laughed and his shoulder brushed hers.

"Are you going to tell Sophie about … this?"

Ace considered, "Eventually. Even if I don't, she'll just know. The second she sees me she'll know something is different. She's like that."

"I just … I know she and Sam write to each other sometimes. This isn't something I want Sam to know about right off."

She frowned, "Why not?"

"'Cause it's mine," he said solemnly.

"I'll swear her to secrecy."

"That'll work?"

"Sophie is very trustworthy. Always has been."

"Good. It's just, I don't get much that's just mine."

"Come on, lets head in."

Harper Blackburn met them at the door.

"Found it," he announced, holding out a large leather-bound book.

"Thank you," Dean replied, placing the cooler he had been carrying on the porch.

"You better get that back to your daddy right quick."

"Yes, sir."

"I'll be needing it back, though."

"I'll bring it back personally," Dean promised giving Ace a sidelong look.

"Good. You take care, now."

Ace stood on the porch and watched until his truck topped the hill.


End file.
